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Dadstar passed away on the 12th...

on Fri May 04, 2018 7:50 am
So Dadstar died a few weeks back. He was doing pretty good towards the end of the year. His back was finally healed from fracturing it, he had an infection on his leg that almost went away and his heart seemed to be doing decent for him, he was exercising more and seemed to be doing better. Then on January 7th he was finishing up gardening in the evening and he said he got dizzy and he passed out and fell into the bushes next to the garage. Scared the living shit out of me, I was near by and thought he tripped on my motorcycle. I heard him choking as I rushed over there and I found him on the ground shaking and thought he died then. He snapped out of it in 20 seconds and honestly felt completely fine after that. I rushed him to the ER and he spent 3 nights in the hospital. He had a vtach attack where his heart had bad nerves and it made a loop and made it so his heart didn’t pump any blood and he passed out from it. Normally you die when that happens but he had implanted defibrillator and it shocked him and got it working again. His doctor said he might be fine or it could happen again. Then on February 15th he had another attack at work, I happened to be there when it happened it too. They released him from the ER a few hours after going there. I remember being super proud of him since his truck was passed 1000 ft down the work driver and I offered to go get it for him but he said he’d do it since its good for him to walk around. His heart doctor said the only real way to fix this was from getting a new heart. But there was a really common operation that might fix it in the mean time.

It was called an ablation surgery and is getting more and more common, its to fix heart arrhythmia problems, and it can be an alternative to getting a pacemaker. The local surgeon said he had a 5% chance of dying from it since his heart was so damaged. His heart doctor in Los Angeles wanted it to be done down there since they have better surgeons do it a lot more. That hospital does the most heart transplants in the country every year. He had the surgery done but he was super to be under general anesthesia for an hour or two and then they would give him local instead afterwards to see how responsive he was. The whole procedure was supposed to take 2-4 hours. His heart was so damaged at that point he was under the general for 6 hours and it took all 6 hours to do it. I was supposed to pick him up from the hospital the next afternoon.He woke up and he couldn’t breathe and they had to put him on a forced air breathing mask. He spent 4 days in the ICU. He was there from Thursday to Monday. Friday he was doing a lot better and we talked on the phone, but he got worst that night and on Saturday was the first time I cried when seeing him the hospital. They were talking about putting him on dialysis since his kidneys weren’t doing that good. I went back on Sunday and he was doing a lot better and I was so relieved. They transferred him over to the regular heart ward monday and his heart seemed to be doing the same as it was last july. He was official listed for a heart transplant waiting list on the 16th of March. He spent 9 total days in the hospital, but I think 3 of those days were running tests for the heart transplant waiting list since he was down there already.

When he got back he never got his energy back and he would get winded super bad after 100 feet of walking, but the surgeon said it would take a month or two to completely heal. I had a really hard time working full time and then coming home and taking care of him the same time. He was going to work for 4-6 hours during this two weeks too. But he was always tired. Then on March 31st he felt really bad like he had a cold and had no energy for the next two days, Luckily he had a cardiologist appointment on the 2nd so we figure we would talk to the doctor by then. The doctor notice he was really yellow, which is a sign of liver failure. And the doc had me rush him to the hospital in Los Angeles since he wanted him to be with the heart failure specialists. They got him in the ICU that day and I was with him for 10 hours and drove home at midnight. I didn’t have any phone calls from the hospital when I left for work so I figured he was okay. The hospital and been calling my brother and he didn’t realize it and once we found out they told me they had put him on a breathing tube and want to put him on dialysis. We rushed down there and that day they put him on a heart pump too but he was stable when we left at 11pm. The next day when I called that morning he was doing a lot better and by the time I was there at 11am they had taken him off of dialysis and he was writing on a notepad. I spent the Night at a friends near by and then the next morning they took the breathing tube out and he looked a lot better. The day afterwards they took the heart pump out. During this whole time he was in great spirits and he had some type of infection but they didn’t know where and what it was. I went to work friday since he was feeling a lot better and visited him on Saturday. He looked a lot better on Saturday and they were talking about moving him to the heart ward and maybe having him stay there on medicine until he got a transplant.

That sunday he had trouble breathing and they put him back on a force air mask but took it off that evening and he was breathing on a regular oxygen nose thing on monday. Tuesday the infection got worst but he was still doing okay. That night the resident doctor called and told me they had discussed it and decided to put him back on a breathing tube. When I drove down the next morning he was on dialysis again and the infection was getting worst, but still a good chance he was going to pull throw it. We were supposed to have a big meeting with the doctors the next morning. We spent all afternoon with him and that evening. He was writing on his notepad and general good spirits. My brother and I left at 9:30 and got a hotel room in los angeles. At 11:30 we got the call that he was coding and they were working hard to keep him alive. we rushed over there and by the time we got there by 12. He was breathing on the tube and his heart was beating, but he basically lifeless. I would squeeze his hand and i felt nothing. My brother and I said our good byes and I made the choice to take him off the breathing tube and heart medicine, the doctor was realistic and said there was basically a 0% chance he would recover. I knew he didn’t want to be hooked up to a machine like that. He died that morning at 1:05 AM. He was 62 years old and the next day was his 63rd birthday. It was a hard day dealing with everything and I got home at 5am. At 8 am I had to call family and friends to tell him the news.

I definitely was tough losing him, I lived with him to keep an eye on him and also worked with him. I had been wanting to move out for a few years but I also wanted to keep an eye on him so I stayed. I had been taking care of him the last year and especially after the operation. Its strange, I’m actually handling it really well and I just got used to him not being here. The hardest part is I got used to him being gone and in the hospital and I would call him in the evening to tell him all the things at work and who stopped by and said hi. On his birthday I went out to work for a few hours to just move stuff around and I had to give the news to everyone who stopped by and at one point I told myself I should tell Dad this evening that such and such stopped by and he was sorry to here you passed. and then I realized I couldn’t do that, he was gone.

Anyways I’m doing alright. My brother and I started our own business and will take over the family one as a new company. I just found roommates to help rent the house we had been renting. We had him cremated and hopefully this weekend I can pick up the ashes. In a few weeks we will have a spreading his ashes in the water and have a giant celebration of life at a park next to the area. We expected 200-300 people to come, he was a local legend in the water community. I still have to write his orbutray and this weekend I have 9 thank you cards to write for all his local doctors and the ones I dealt with in the hospital, the whole icu staff and two nurses that did a fantastic job. In all I’m said that he died, I really miss him, but at the same time I’m glad I got to spend an extra year with him and I know he had a good ride. Luckily I’m just going to put my head down and power through this. I am not sure why I ended up typing all of this out, I’ve been doing it for 40 minutes, but it felt good to do it.
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Re: Dadstar passed away on the 12th...

on Fri May 04, 2018 8:03 am
sorry. it's good that you were so close.
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Re: Dadstar passed away on the 12th...

on Fri May 04, 2018 9:19 am
:/

even though all his troubles, i'm glad/sure your dad was happy to see/experience the strides you've made over the years. despite the tears, he probably had a strong peace of mind exiting
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Re: Dadstar passed away on the 12th...

on Sat May 05, 2018 3:15 am
You're a good man genestar
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Re: Dadstar passed away on the 12th...

on Mon May 07, 2018 3:11 am
hope you're doing ok man, glad you're taking it so well. I know you and your dad were close, I'm sure he's proud of how you're handling things.
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